Preheat oven to 375°. Prepare a typical pie crust made with 1 cup soy flour and cup Tofugarine^® or similar hydrogenated soy non-fat lard substitute. Brush with 3 Tbsp Tofumin^® soy extract egg white simulant. In a small amount of Tofugarine^® fry ¼ lb textured soy protein bacon replacer. (Ham lovers may prefer to substitute Fram^® reconstituted soy substance ham dissembler.) Dice and add ¼ cup textured tofu mushroom substitute. In a medium bowl blend 2 cups soy milk, cup hydrolyzed soy emulsion egg imposter, and 1/4 tsp powdered Tamari all-purpose non-sodium spice substitute. Add 2 Tbsp reconstructed soy powder chive deceiver (or for a special taste, use instead my favorite: ¼ cup crushed Soy Rogers^® brand compressed soy dust simulated Onion RodeOs.)
Sprinkle bacon or ham and mushroom simulants in bottom of pie crust. Add ¼ cup diced SoySation^® or other brand emulsified soy excretion Swiss cheese substitute. Top with simulated custard mixture. Bake at 375° for 35 to 40 minutes or until the top is golden brown. Serve and enjoy.